I feel like complete shit

This is gonna be a vent journal, so if you don't care about my personal life just skip this. 

So about a week ago I finally got a new job as nightfill after being unemployed for a over a year (though near the end of last year I started doing volunteer work which I'm still doing now). First night wasn't so bad, wasn't nearly as stressful as my last job. This night however, I did horribly. I had to sort out one whole aisle, and even though it's only meant to take an hour I was so fucking slow that it took almost 3 hours (which is the entirety of my shifts), even with help; and I wasn't even facing everything the right way.

It doesn't help that I didn't find out how to actually tell which nights I had work on, so I ended up getting a call from my manager telling me that I was supposed to work on Tuesday, so combined with my shit performance (which he noticed more than anyone) and I wouldn't be surprised if I got fired tomorrow night (which I have another shift on). I finally get a job after all this time and I'm so fucking inept at it that I'll probably lose it in less than a month. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me; I've never been good at anything I do and it's only going to become more stressful now that I'll be back to studying at university soon, and this time it's an actual course instead of a bridging course. I feel really pressured and alone, and I honestly don't know if I'm going to make it through this year or even the next. 


So with that out of the way, I suppose I should explain my lack of activity these past two months. I'm still working on the story script for Super Dream Party, a series that has taken top priority for whenever I actually do stuff for this site, and I'm still not sure how the flow of events is going to happen. I sort of have the beginning and end parts thought out, but it's the middle that seems to require more time and thinking from me. The fact that I'm still procrastinate-y as usual, easily distracted by tons of YouTube vids and my upcoming flow of work and study isn't going to help either. If you were expecting something else from me, I'm really sorry but it probably won't be for a very long time. 

Hopefully and maybe, just maybe, I'll have enough of the basic flow of events laid out and begin actually working on revising what's already there by the end of the month; don't hold your breath though, though I doubt anyone would be anyway since this is understandably one of my less popular series. Until then, take care everybody.